Beej's Brain Babblings

Creative Bug

2008-05-18T23:07:00.001-05:00

Well it has been an interesting week for sure. Lot of events that happened, and well to be quite honest are some I never thought would actually happen. Because of this one event in question, I feel pretty good. I learned a lot about myself and while I may have stumbled a little bit, I am proud of how I handled it all. Maybe I need potentially traumatic events to happen more often. All I know is I seem to have been bitten by the creative bug as a result.

I have made two trips this past week to the craft store. Something I would normally be a little uncomfortable doing. I also bought some of the most, not to go together items while there too. Right now I'm hip deep in construction paper which would make some proud. I think I’m going to need another roll of tape.

I have taken some pictures that I need to put the finishing touches on, and I'm working on a follow-up to my bokeh picture. To my surprise it went over very well in the flickr world. Very surprised and I don’t know if I can recreate the magic of my rookie picture since I probably won't be able to make explore two times in a row.
Outside of this crazy ass week, not a lot of new and interesting things are going on. Work is still a pain. I need to get to planning my trip to Oregon.

I'm going to get back to the construction paper. Enjoy yourself peeps and I hope you all have a good week.

This is why I'm a ghetto superstar...seriously

2008-05-09T18:38:00.008-05:00

Ok before I get to the good stuff I do want to take a second to rant. No real reason, I just want it off my chest. There is a little challenge group on myspace that I participate in from time to time. It catches my fancy from time to time and I have been on a bit of roll as of late with the old picture taking. Shot a perfect entry. The contest this week is for Shallow DOF. So here is my entry.

Now granted this isn't the greatest photo in the world. I'm comfortable with that, but I do think it is a fairly decent image. Well apparently not many others do. I am currently being defeated by a dead fish, a fly, and a slug. Seriously...no I'm being serious. That is an old confidence boost right there let me tell you. It kind of makes me want to stop entering that stupid contest.

We now return to our regularly scheduled program. I have been going gaga (is that a word?) over the ghetto macro. Basically that is where you take the lens from your DSLR (or SLR for you film folks) and reverse it. That creates a very close up view of things allowing you to take macro pics. I'm addicted. Totally addicted. So addicted it is kind of scary. I now offically want a real macro lens and I wish the government would send me my damn rebate check so I can score. Anyway, below are some of my recent favorites with the ghetto macro.

And probably my fav of the bunch

*the quality of the images on here suck. I probably did something wrong in the way I posted them. Click on my flickr banner at the bottom of the page to get a better look see of my pictures.

My new toy...

2008-04-17T12:57:00.003-05:00

I have a new toy. I should be working, but yet again I'm stuck waiting on others so I'm running around my apartment playing.

Picture taken with said lens. I haven't produced much yet worth showing, but I'm getting a few things in mind to shoot. We shall see what I can do with it, but so far I lub it dearly.

Official shout out to T! Thanks a bunch.

Well it is official...

2008-04-13T19:50:00.002-05:00

Well I guess it is offical. They actually haven't announced it, but I got paid for it so offical can shove it. I received a promotion at work this week. I am the newest Sr. Systems Analyst at work. Total surprise. I had no idea it was coming so I'm pretty pumped.

Why is it?

2008-04-01T10:59:00.002-05:00

Yes nothing is working today....again. So I’m bored. This is what I do with an idle brain. Scary!

Why is it?...

Why is it when you get a bad meal at a restaurant the meal is complimentary when there was nothing complementary about the meal in the first place?

Why is it we call a hamburger a hamburger when there is no pork what so ever in it?

Why does my toaster have a setting that will turn a piece of bread into a lump of coal?

Why is it when you are driving, lost, and looking for a specific address, we turn the car radio down?

Why do we save for a rainy day? Wouldn’t it be better to do something when it is sunny?

Why is it that a Mexican restaurant can take four basic food items - beans, cheese, rice, and tortillas – and have 200 menu items?

If you can think of some additions throw them in. I may be editing this blog throughout the day, depending on when/if things get going again.

Ramblings turn into photo blog...

2008-03-31T14:20:00.010-05:00

Film at 11? That is what the title reminds me of anyway.

Nothing specific to write really. I’ve been working support today and everything on the face of the planet, well not planet, is broken and I can’t do a fracking thing other than do a lot of cursing under my breath.

So I thought I would take a moment and let everyone know that today marks the two month anniversary of me quitting smoking...again. It didn’t dawn on me until someone asked me today how the no smoking thing was going. Probably heard me grumbling over here . Now someone pass me a cig...STAT! I quit for like two years once and I smoked again, so we shall see if this actually holds. I kind of think it will.

So I’ve been rather blah on photo taking as of late. I had snapped a few things, but I haven’t really been sharing them. A few I posted on flickr got a little love and that made me somewhat (read a lot) excited again. They are pics that I took and really liked, but I kind of figured they would not have much mind payed to them by others. Well I was wrong to there. Now I am kind of getting excited about taking pics again. So I’m posting those pics here -

Ramblings of a mad-man, seriously

2008-03-23T22:29:00.004-05:00

Well first off let me say Happy Easter to everyone. Well everyone who is in to that sort of thing. I’ve been fairly busy as of late so I haven’t been blogging like I should, so I thought I would take a minute to write something.

I’ve been on the run for days. In fact I’ve really just now taken a breather and it is 10PM. I still have so much to do it is crazy. The weekend was good. I went home Saturday to spend time with the fam. It was my Dad’s b-day and Easter so it was a two’fer this weekend. Took my Dad to dinner. It was good. I got to catch-up with the parents which is a good thing. I’ve felt like less than a stellar son as of late. I’ve been so busy it has just been brief phone calls and a few hours visits when I have been able to pull that off. They keep saying how much they miss me, yeah no guilt trip there, sheesh.

I awoke this morning and I’m about 90 percent sure I was a block of ice. Ummm…hello spring, where the hell did you go? I haven’t recovered yet, I’m still freezing. After breakfast I did a little shopping for the grandmother. Not my typical shopping mind you since I went shopping for flowers. Yes I said flowers. I hit four different places and found exactly what I thought was perfect. A dandy little assortment of Alyssums. I had a feeling she liked them. Apparently she called my Mom a bit ago proclaiming her love for them and how I have a knack at finding different and pretty flowers. Grandson of the year, right here. BOOYAH! If only I had this magical effect on all women in my life.

Finally home and got everything put away. I only have 13 personal emails to go through, around 30 flickr pics I should be looking at, and 45 work emails to go through. Surprisingly enough, no myspace messages. I found that shocking. So I stay away from a computer, well with the exception of working on my parent’s computer, and I feel so behind. On top of that, what am I doing? I’m writing my evaluation for my boss. Sheesh me and work. Someone save me from myself…lol.

In other news, I’ve felt rather uninspired as of late. I haven’t touched my camera in weeks. I take it with me everywhere I go, but I haven’t snapped a photo in a while, save a close up view of a brick wall. Which is what I feel like I've hit. Will mention later. Yeah it is that bad. There must be something in the water because I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. I’m quite sad actually. I’m uninspired, a bit on the bored side, feeling less than like my stellar self usually does. Really I’m feeling quite inadequate with most things in my life. No I’m not fishing for complements or throwing a pity party. Just stating how I feel. I think it is just me being a little lonely basing on events that have happened recently. Something I will not be sharing here, sorry :-/. I would say most all of you have no clue what I’m talking about, but it is me and you can probably figure it out easily if you know me. You live you learn and as per usual I’m sure I’ll come out of it all smelling like a rose or at least not like manure.

I only mentioned all of the above because I think I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel already. Which is a good thing. Of course at any minute the light could go out. Such is my life after all. I’ve been doing a lot of reading. Especially in the photography realm. The spark of interest has flared up again. This means that I must purchase a couple pieces of equipment that, really I have been delaying because of said lack of inspiration. I already have a self-portrait assignment I think was suppose to be done, oh gee I don’t know, four months ago! Hahahaha. I’m working on it I swear! Once I get a few things and probably make myself a couple hundred bucks poorer I think I will try to tackle a few of my ideas and see what shakes out. In the mean time I should edit the pics from two months ago. Told ya, no inspiration.

Let’s see. Did I ever actually mention I’m debt free now? Paid off the student loan a bit ago. I get another bonus payment in July and then I am yet again going to do a serious house search. I would really like to consider myself a home owner before year end. You have no idea how much the thought of this terrifies me. To no freaking end.

Well I’ve rattled enough. I should take some of this drivel I call writing and direct it towards making my evaluation sound awesome. Has anyone else noticed how verbose I am as of late? I mean seriously it is even starting to bug me and I can’t control myself. GAH!!!! I'm doing it still....

Oh the humanity

2008-03-10T10:26:00.000-05:00

I'm heading back to the gym. I haven't worked out in roughly five months now, so I thought I should go back. I can totally tell too. I have next to no energy or motivation for anything. Throw on top of that my sudden interest in working all the time and you have a formula of me+too much work+no play+lazy+pizza+beer=fat disgusting couch potato. I'm pretty sure Einstein wrote this down somewhere when he came up with E=MC2. I didn't have that problem after a good workout. I've put back on a few of the pounds that I had lost over a year ago and I am most displeased by those turn of events. Me and my freaking Wendy's fix. So I've decided it is back to watching what I eat (sorry Wendy's), working out, and well...cutting back on beer *gasp*. That last statement actually hurt to say. Especially since I specifically get together with my cousin on Wednesday for drinks and dinner, and Thursday I bowl, which includes LOTS of beer.

Incase you are not keeping score, I quit smoking maybe a month and a half/two months ago? Somewhere around that time frame. This means I'm sort of getting back into a health kick. This should be interesting. I'm planning on starting slow this week to get into the groove and then basically kill myself next week. Wish me luck.

Not a fairy tale happy ending...

2008-03-03T11:06:00.000-06:00

Gather around children and let me tell you a story. It is going to be about a boy who led a rather disappointing life and met a tragic ending. He was born into a rather volatile family life. Grew up in a broken home as his mom skipped out and has had little to nothing to do in his entire life. The father tried to raise him as best he could. Probably tried to be his friend more often than an actual parent, but he did try.

Kid grew up and did kid things. Got into the normal kid trouble. He perhaps got into the trouble a little more often. Started with bits of vandalism, rolling houses and forking yards. Then it grew to stealing, shoplifting and stealing from others. Underage drinking and defiance of curfew and parent’s orders to eventually getting kicked out.

He was dating a very sweet girl. Had been with her for a long time. He cheated on her with another. Whom he eventually got pregnant. They got engaged, but never married. The kid was born. The parents of the mother took custody and they refused anyone to see the kid. Then he gets back with the girl he was originally with. Of course he got her pregnant. Here we go again, right?

Well he decides he wants to join the military. Not a bad thing. Actually, this was the only time I held out a little hope for him. He seems to be doing well. He gets married to the girl he is with. They have a beautiful little girl together. Things seem good. He comes home over a holiday. I notice that he seems to be there for a long time. Longer than I would have expected his leave to actually be. Turns out he was AWOL. Had been for a while. Also he and his new wife were going to get a divorce. Things turning out not so great yet again. After the divorce he sees his daughter next to none. More disobeying of they parents, so they kick him out.

He disappears. Homeless for a while. He was actually sneaking and sleeping in their shed in the backyard from time to time. He was breaking into their house and his grandparents house to support a budding drug habit.

He does eventually get a job and his own place. His job prospects are bad because of his drug problem. He jumps from job to job. The drugs get worse. He meets up with eventual wife three. She is also heavily into drugs. This leads him down a path of habitual drug use and crime that leads to several stints in jail. He has become abusive to his wife who in turn abuses him. One happy family. They have a kid (that is kid three by three different women for those keeping score). As part of one of his paroles he had to stay in a halfway house and enter a drug program. He was doing well with it, but of course when he got back to his current life of drug addict girlfriend he went down the drug path again.

Fast forward to Saturday night. I get a phone call. Our friend had hit an all time low in life and felt he couldn’t come out of it. He hung himself in his closet and his father was the unlucky soul to find him.

I thought writing this might help me determine how I feel. It really hasn’t. I still feel more sympathy for the father finding him than the fact that he killed himself. I have felt like he has been a lost cause for a long time. Not the rosy outlook I try to have for people I know. I can’t say the news of his death shocked me. I always felt like he would either commit suicide, overdose, or someone would kill him. Still didn’t keep me from being a little shocked at the news. Well still not knowing how I feel perhaps means I am going to feel indifferent about this forever. I’m not sure what that really says about me.

More Hours Please

2008-02-25T12:09:00.003-06:00

I never really thought I would see the day where I actually admitted there just aren't enough hours in the day. Holy crap I tested this over the weekend. Busy busy busy. I enjoyed it though. I'm on a huge organizing kick right now. I just organized my DVD collection, because I have bought a new shelf to put them on. Next will be the closet I think. When I say organizing kick, I mean I've been an organizing fool. I don't see an end to this madness coming anytime soon either. Someone really should get on this more hours in a day thing, stat.

Saturday I was on the run most of the day. A true sign that I am working WAY too much now. I woke up Saturday morning at 10am. I totally freaked, jumped out of bed and was about to email my boss with a panicked morning email of I'm late and on my way. Then of course it dawned on me that it was in fact Saturday and I am in fact a spaz. So nothing like an early morning mini-self induced-heart attack to get the day going. Jumped in the car and went to my parent's house. First I did their taxes, because I'm a professional (yeah right). Then I setup the new computer I bought them for Christmas. Yes I'm aware it is February and the month is almost over. I finally just said frig it and set it up.

Of course the tax prep and computer setup took longer than I expected. So I was late for the Memphis vs TN basketball game party I was to attend that night. Got there and was finally able to sit, have a beer, and enjoy a great game. It was the first basketball game I've watched all year. Now I'm pumped and ready for some more games.

Of course I drank so much I felt like totally ass the next day. Lucky me. So Sunday was basically wasted for me. Well not really wasted. I finished the DVD organization Sunday. I did watch a couple of good movies as well, Ninth Gate and In the Valley of Elah. Yes I know I'm way late on Ninth Gate but I got to it finally. Both were very great movies. Ninth Gate was interesting. I was a bit distracted doing a couple of other things. I think I should watch it again when I can devote my total attention span to it because I think I missed a thing or two. Tommy Lee Jones was fantastic with his performance In the Valley of Elah. It is a little slow at times, but over all I found the movie to be fantastic. Plus it has Charlize Theron in it and she is just gorgeous to look at. Win win.

Lunar Eclipse

2008-02-20T21:47:00.002-06:00

Well I don't know how many of you know this, but if it is dark in your area the moon is under a lunar eclipse. It is a very gorgeous shade of red right now, so go look. If you are too late, well don't feel bad because this is the first one I've actually ever really stopped to notice. I use to be of the type that was too busy and too caught up in myself. I couldn't stop and take notice of the beautiful things this world leaves for us. Not so much now. I wanted to take a pic to share with everyone, but my crappy kit lens won't cut it. It looked like a little pin hole. So go out and enjoy some beauty and go star gazing. I'm grabbing a beer, going out and looking up for a little while and ponder about some things.

This TOTALLY excites me!

2008-02-15T12:49:00.005-06:00

I can honestly say I do not take great pleasure in many things. This however excites me to no end. One of my favorite movie series of all time is BACK! I couldn't be happier and it looks awesome.

Watch the Trailer on Yahoo! Movies

First Blog Here

2008-02-14T16:58:00.000-06:00

I’ve decided I’m no longer blogging on myspace. No real reason actually. I guess I just felt the need to have another website to take up my time. I lead a rather boring existence at the moment, so why not spend it boring other people with my ramblings? Sounds like a fair deal to me.

So I’ve been sick for a little over a week now. Ugh it was so awful. Thank the heavens for a good nurse, even if she is 900 miles away, green tea, juice, and lots of sleep. I’m almost over it completely now. I’m so ready to get my life back on track and actually do something besides sleep and cough. It hasn’t all been bad however. I did finish a book I had been reading, Presidential Doodles, and started another. Probably the best of all was watching Season 1 of Heroes. Holy cow! What a fantastic show. I can’t believe I waited this long to actually watch this masterpiece. I want Season 2 stat!

Today is Valentines Day. I’m normally very cynical about such things, but this year I really could care less. So I’m single this year. I’m pretty happy for a change. That is all that really matters. Too many of the my fellow singles let this day drag them down. Go out and have some fun. Get together with some of your single friends and go catch a flick or something. I’m currently typing this blog and eating pizza. Both by candlelight btw. Does that count as a date with myself? If it does, then perhaps I will get lucky a little later tonight. If you have someone, make them feel super special today. And in honor of today I decided to post this since it went over so well when I introduced this to others earlier in the day.

Well I’m going to finish a couple loads of laundry and watch some television. I have a season of X-Files calling my name as well as a new episode of Supernatural tonight. Carry on people.